Today is the first day I didn't go to my classes of the semester - and I feel some regret. This is actually the norm for me - normally I never show up after the first day of classes, but I had this epiphany while I was in Korea that I need to work harder for my goals. While riding the Daikanransha Ferris wheel (大観覧車) in Tokyo, Japan - I was deeply thinking about what brought me to Korea and how I missed my dream in Japan - and that I need to somehow make it to Japan in the future (now I'm planning for a summer there for a start). Don't get me wrong, I love Korea and had such a blast there - Korea really taught me so much about myself - and all the people I met there helped me grow as a person. There is no experience like studying abroad...It will always have a meaningful place in my memory.

However, I have dreams that I want to achieve. One of those dreams is to master the Japanese language and work in the video game industry. I don't know if I can reach all my dreams, but I don't want to give up. One thing I felt today was tired - something I frequently felt before when I used to live here before, and it's something I don't want. I need to read more kanji, learn more grammar, and put more time and effort if I'm ever going to reach my goal.

I think my biggest problem is fear that I won't succeed. The fear hinders me from actually making strides towards the goal - I sometimes feel I might as well give up and stop wasting my time on goals I won't achieve. I have to keep thinking of those moments in Tokyo. What that meant to me and how I have to make it back someday and press forward...

Love this song from Yakuza by Eri Kawai - her voices is soothing.

Friday night I met the new Korean and Japanese students both were really friendly and a far cry from the usual groups we get. I'm happy and look forward to getting to know them. It was a little odd being able to talk about so much with Korean students due to my adventures in Seoul, I almost feel a little "Korean" haha.

Today I went with Saeyon and Justin to Hooters and watched the Ravens game. Ravens won! Next week they will play the Patriots. In other news, 49ers will be playing the Giants next week (household sports game competitiveness has just hit an all-time high). After Hooters we went to MD Oriental Market and bought some Asian snacks. I tried this squid snack with peanuts inside...good. I also got some Ramune (spilled all over me...never fails). It's odd that some of these products were hard to find in Asia, but are so easily access here in the USA haha.

I'm going to work on applying for some scholarships tonight. I'll keep a list here:

• $2,000 No-Essay College Prowler Scholarship
• $1,000 College Prowler Survey scholarship

More to come :)

It's hard to believe that we are already living in the year 2012. This Xanga is almost 7 years old. 

My New Years was interesting. I was a bit disappointed at first because I wanted to spend the New Years with my close friends, but nobody planned anything for the New Year (like they did last year) and it seemed that I would not be spending my New Year with friends.

My parents took me to dinner at a Spanish restaurant with live flamenco dancers - the performance was disappointing when they added ballet to something that should be a Spanish-style dance show - though who can blame them when the audience is mostly elderly non-Hispanics. The Cuban bread was tasty though.

After dinner, I headed to a New Years party some friends invited me to. I knew about 2 people in the entire party...I was there waiting for a midnight kiss from a girl I've been interested in for some time (she was working so I arrived first). A game of Ring of Fire loosened the mood at the party - and before I knew it, I was a little tipsy. The clock struck closer to midnight and then there was less than 8 minutes until the ball dropped for 2012. She managed to make it to the party with only a few minutes to spare.

The countdown came down and at midnight we both looked at each other and kissed. Her ex-boyfriend (of 2 weeks ago) standing only 2 people away and another guy who is interested (and deeply courting despite living far away) right behind us. I didn't care in that moment. Once the kiss was over the party went back to how it was before and I was ready to leave. I waited around 2 hours to make sure I was sober enough to leave. 

The whole time these other guys were both trying to court the girl and she was entertaining it. I don't appreciate it when people try to lie about how they feel when it's so obvious - especially to someone who has been friends for so long. Honestly, I don't want to be caught in a courting game where I could be reduced to nothing other than a friend with benefit. I don't believe in that. So I quickly got over it - whatever this past few week has been since I got back from Korea. 

Finally, I heard some friends would be joining together and I grew excited to see my old friends. When I made it over there I was so happy to see old friends. The whole time I have been back in Tampa I felt a disconnect to my past - mainly because its winter break and everyone is off doing their thing - but I really just wanted to hang out with my old friends and hear stories, gossip, and reconnect. I didn't leave until 8AM from my friends house. Feeling fully satisfied with my New Years Eve/Day and ready for another year.

I'm looking forward to meeting all the new people at school and getting to know the friends I haven't seen for months once again. I'm home.

Today while wandering around the Kyobo bookstore in Seoul - I thought about my journal while looking at physical journals and thought I would like to start keeping a daily journal again. One reason is because I can hardly remember what happened in the last week in order (though soju, the drink of Korean choice, may play a part in that), and here I am. I wanted a slick interface without too much noise - and I can count on this blog for that..

It's 3:19AM. I have an exam in about 6 hours and I couldn't feel any less confidant about it. The whole class was a complete blur and as much I hope to get a good grade, I have become convinced that my grade is probably hopelessly doomed to be a "F". I have never completely failed a class in my academic career and I certainly never imagined it would happen on my first time abroad. Then looking at the circumstances, it makes some sense that this would happen abroad in a place where everything is unfamiliar and I can't navigate myself the way I do in my home country.

I can't ensure a good professor on Rate My Professors or guarantee my teacher will speak decent English, there is no English tutoring at the library and few people have taken the same class as me - among other things I have found myself in many disadvantageous positions during my stay in South Korea. My health has been one thing that really suffered - at first I started getting healthier with all the walking up and down hills and through the subway of Seoul. However, my diet became filled with junk with no refrigerator, oven, or pantry to store food inside. 

To make matters worse - my roommate passed me several illnesses that he picked up throughout my stay and my weak immune system was rendered unable to battle the germs he spread (yeah I don't think I will have many roommates in the future). I have been ill over seven times since entering Korea with upper-respiratory tract infections, colds, coughs, and who knows what else. Although I have travel insurance, the costs are returned retroactively - making me turn from the idea of just driving to the doctor when I discover I have become sick. I missed almost 2 weeks of straight classes due ot my illness and my teachers refused to fully excuse even with a doctors note. A whole bunch of crap...

Coming to Korea was a bit of gamble that played off as a mostly positive experience, sprinkled with a few negatives I will have to live with in the future. I did meet many people from around the world (Australia, Canada, Germany, France, Hong Kong, Japan, Singapore, Spain, Sweden...to name a few), I got to think about my future in a new environment and evaluate my role in the world as an American and fully appreciate the things I have at home. People can say what they want - the USA is still a pretty great place to live and Florida does have many good things to offer. 

I also was able to fully live the "city life" in a place where everything is open 24 hours a day - the parties run until 6AM and then are preceded with after-parties. Coffee shops dominate the streets with multiple shops within a few feet of each other. Where you can do anything in a room for a small fee (watch a movie, surf the internet, play video games, play with cats, sing karaoke) and huge shopping complexes that stay open until the wee hours of the morning are the norm. A subway that costs less the $0.90 to ride and can take me anywhere in the city. A place where it is actually cheap to eat at restaurants and I can ride a taxi virtually anywhere with little pain to my pocket. 

I do feel coming here was an important part in my development and helped me really see the challenges in being far from home that I never experienced before because I was always home. It makes me wonder how hard life would have been if I did make the move to California for college. It also reminded me of my love for Japanese culture in a place where it is less popular than in the USA. 

Oh and I got to visit Tokyo - a long lifetime dream of mine...it was everything I was hoping for and more. I know I will go back to Japan in the future - I can't say the same about Korea though. I think next Wednesday may be the last time I come to Korea unless it is on business. I think I fully got what I wanted out of Korea and it's time to leave it behind. 

And OMG I can't stand the cold. The sunny beaches of Florida are just 6 days away :)

It has been quite some time since I wrote in a personal journal (food and travel blogs don't count!). I am leaving to study abroad in Seoul, South Korea on August 22, roughly two weeks from today. It is the biggest adventure I have ever been on. I am excited to explore a new place and interact with new people. I love Korean culture so I'm looking forward to really taking it in and learning from Koreans. I am finally going to travel abroad!

There are so many things going on in the world. The debt ceiling, S&P credit ratings, and threat of a 2nd global recession are all the talk these days. It's fascinating and also scary to think about what the outcome of this situation could mean for Americans and the world in general. It motivates me to work harder and continue being innovative. Adversity only makes me stronger. There has to be a light at the end of this tunnel right? We made it through worse. I wish the news wouldn't fear monger so much though, it is almost sickening how it thrives on it.

If there is one thing I have come to appreciate in the past few years is organization and activism. We must all be strong. Hard times seem to be ahead and we must come together as people and make the difference necessary.

To all the adventures that await, I raise my glass.